MAMACARE MONDAY



I don't even know where to begin with this topic, such a heavy subject however unfortunately a reality for some mothers and families who have experienced this. Lets start here, about two weeks ago I was invited to a pre-screening of Hally Berry's aptly titled new movie "Kidnapped".  Having seen the trailer on television many times, I was in no rush to watch to go and see what I considered to be a horror movie.  However I had one of my best friends in town when I received the invite and I figured this would be a great time to bond, having some quality fellow mommy girls time.  Boy were we in for a surprise...... first there was a totally unexpected cameo of Miss Hally Berry showing up giving a brief rundown of the film, her reason for doing it, and why it is so important to highlight women's strength and shedding some light on female heroines which in this case is an everyday hard working mother who gets to save the day, doing whatever it takes to get the job done.







The opening scene was enough for me, literally I could have been done with the movie from this point when her son gets kidnapped and she witnesses it. The horror and look on her face is spot on given this particular situation an is unfortunately all to familiar and hits close to home.......Not one of my best parenting moments but there was a brief episode where my then 2.5yr old was lost in the local Target due to my husband and I bickering, not paying close attention to her and much like how anything happens in life, she was lost like that! Luckily, our story ending was a happy one where she was taken to guest services by a very nice women and when we found her there, she was sitting on the woman's lap sipping on an apple juice box. Although I was extremely traumatized by this, with time I was able to forgive myself, trust my instincts, and be more aware.


According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (citing U.S. Department of Justice reports), nearly 800,000 children are reported missing each year. That's more than 2,000 a day. The NCMEC says 203,000 children are kidnapped each year by family members.

My take away from watching this movie coupled with my unfortunate experience, and the conversation that was generated between my good friend and I was that there is really no one size fits all way in "protecting our children from being abducted. I think it involves a little bit of everything with all hands on deck, whatever as a mom, parent, etc... one is willing to do. For me, I want to go forward in life with the mentality that whatever is my daughters journey is unique to her and I am only here to guide and facilitate. With that being said am I going to always make sure I am aware of all of my surroundings  especially with my daughter involved going to local parks with multiple entrances and exits, crowded amusement parks, busy shopping areas, outdoor concerts, etc... From my past experience going through life fearing the unknown, the what-if, or something bad can happen, only makes it more of a sure shot that something unfortunate will occur however only much faster. Although a very logical and practical school of thought, when it comes to our kids we can't help but worry and be a little bit fearful.......

What are your thoughts, would love to hear!
Remember mamas invest in yourself so you can continue to invest in others..........until next Monday

MAMACARE MONDAY


Synergy of Mind, Body, and Soul



What is postpartum care? First lets define Postpartum, an official definition according to an online source: A postpartum period or postnatal period is the time beginning immediately after the birth of a child and extending for about six weeks. 


Although this is a very official definition most women and moms have in the field or "skin in the game" experience where that definitive six weeks feels more like a lifetime which more or less it is.  From my own personal experience, the postpartum period last way longer than that....try every moment of the day while your in the trenches dealing with the growing pains, changing personalities, constant wants, needs, complaints, joys, etc.....

The postpartum period is a joyous time, but it’s also a period of adjustment and healing for mothers. Adjusting to everyday life after the birth of a baby has its challenges, especially if you’re a new mother. Although it’s important to care for your baby, you also have to take care of yourself.





So what do you do when your an overwhelmed mom trying to juggle and handle it all during one of the most precious and vulnerable times of your life? As I have been getting older, one of the things I am starting to implement and getting used to doing is adding a bit of organization in my life via checklist. One in particular a more specific Postpartum Care checklist and making sure I have the three essential components in order Mind, Body and Soul.  Where is my mental state, how is my physical activity, and how do I feel?
Not too long ago I did a workshop series for JC Family Health and Human services part of the DOH where one of the most popular topics I discussed was how to have synergetic balance in navigating through life, especially when you are a mom and busy women on the go!

First things first, like most things in life to run successfully, there needs to be some type of systems in place. For all the three components Mind, Body, and Spirit try to have some sort of activities, resources, and/or outlet in place for each category.

Mind: Curling up with a good book particularly ones dealing with the subject at hand assisting you through the journey. Two books I recommend "The conscious parent" https://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Parent-Transforming-Ourselves-Empowering/dp/1897238452

"Discovering your soul signature"
https://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Your-Soul-Signature-Purpose/dp/0812995589/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503290727&sr=1-1&keywords=discovering+your+soul+signature

Body: Definitely having some type of physical activity in place to release tension, get the endorphins going, and oxygen circulating through the body helps to clear the mind enabling you to execute and navigate through the day better. Whether it be cycling, dancing, walking, yoga, something to keep you active and de-stress.

Soul: Whether its taking in the scenery, sitting and meditating, having an only one dance party in your living room, whatever it may be to express yourself to the fullest and fulfills your hearts desire. Making sure you take time for yourself is vital and key to keeping a healthy balance in life.

These tips may or may not work for your postpartum care routine, however they were helpful to me and brought great comfort during my first 1month of post baby recovery and continue to be a staple I rely on when things get out of hand. Like I always say, mamas invest in yourself so you may continue to invest in others, until next Monday.......

MAMACARE MONDAY




For a while I have had this topic in my head, on my heart, and in my Que of post that I have been meaning to publish for some time now.  However it either never seemed to be the right time and/or I wasn't quite sure how I would introduce the topic without avoiding offending any of my mommy friends black, white, other, and who might take this story the wrong way once I revealed my perspective and take-away from the experience.  As life would have it due to a recent situation occurring with with my daughter at her summer camp this year subsequently has been fuel to this fire, that I could no longer hold my tongue.



With that said, my daughter informed me very casually this week when I picked her up from camp that there was an older girl in one of the other camp classes that told her she "hated her hair, and didn't like her skin" so you can imagine my shock, horror, sadness, and a barrage of feelings at this point that I am trying to contain and/or keep under wraps as I try to extract more information from her to fully grasp what she just told me.  Not to mention hearing this for a second time as she told me maybe a week 1/2 earlier that an older boy told her he didn't like nor think her skin was pretty?  As she continues with the current story and I find out that not only this was said to her but apparently she and this little girl were asked to go to the principles office where the issue was discussed, sorted out, and as my daughter explained to me "they are friends again"WHAH???? The immediate questions that ran through my head:

1. First I am appalled that my five year old not only had to hear such harsh and mean words but that she was asked to go to the office and I wasn't informed by the school/camp??
2. Second, do I need to be concerned and worried about my daughters self image and is it dangerous and/or wise to let her continue to play with dolls that don't look like her nor represent her beauty?

You might be wondering why I asked myself the second question, well as I did some more investigation speaking with the school's director early the following morning, conversing with my other fellow mommies whose children are in her class, and asking her directly, what I discovered shocked me even more....So it turns out that this older girl that said this to my daughter might not exist according to the director? She couldn't find her in the camp roster when she looked her name up and no child was sent nor asked to come to the principles office that day.  However there is an older girl in that other class who is not being very nice to my daughters class as a "group", not necessarily singling my daughter out, telling them as a whole they don't belong in their classroom when they come to share the room with them during lunch time and when camp is ending. Somewhere in this story is the truth and something is going on because according to some of my daughters other classmates there was a little girl who is older than them being asked to go to the office because she got in trouble, however it wasn't the same name of the girl my daughter told me? At the end of the day my take-away from this is that my baby-girl is struggling with her own images of beauty and starting to identify, compare, and contrast how she think she looks in regards to her closest friends whom she plays with everyday in camp that do not look like her....



 One important question I did ask was to get to the source of all of this chaos was "why?" say this if its not entirely true? Although I do believe my child to some degree as stated prior, that there is definitely something going on when these classes merge during certain points during the day, however I question why she decided to talk about her skin and hair? Is there an underlying issue that I am missing and not giving enough attention to?  Especially seeing as I thought I was doing things right and on the correct path by buying her baby dolls that reflect how she looks, hair, skin, etc... yet what she is gravitating towards is the alternative. So when I asked her again why she said what she said, she told me that she wanted a ponytail that hangs down. I sooooo didn't want to have to deal with and have this conversation with her so early on but honestly look what is around her in her community and what she sees everyday, how could I avoid it? Most importantly, how do I navigate this conversation? teaching her self-love by excluding others, essentially telling her its okay to have her friends who are white but not play with those dolls, only black? If I am being honest, sounds a bit hypocritical to me.  Looks like what I was trying to avoid is becoming her reality, so I ask myself this question now....What's the next step?

Through this experience I realized that the way I was raised and what I was taught, is worlds apart and different from how my daughter is being raised.  What also has become clear is that I can and will continue to support and positively affirm her beauty as we do our daily affirmations in the mirror reciting: "I am beautiful, I am smart, I am safe, I am loving, I am a child of God" but most importantly giving her the tools and guidance she needs to navigate through these developmental milestones A.K.A growing pains, and understanding this is part of her journey and cross to bear.  At this age it is normal for children to start questioning and investigating boundaries of gender, looks, hair, the opposite sex, etc... so I figure my daughter is on par with her development no matter how uncomfortable and sad it makes me feel. One thing for sure, I will still continue to love this little munchkin and help her through.  Remember mamas take care of yourselves so you can continue to take care of others.......until next Monday!

MamaCare Monday



Words can't even explain how elated and full I feel from this past weekend's amazing, motivating and inspirational events.  I had the pleasure to attend "PowerMom" 2017 inaugural summit and awards reception sponsored by Loacker USA.  As stated, it was definitely encouraging to be in a room full of dynamic go-getter women, making an impact and effecting change in the world all while creating and raising babies at the same time.  Creating the "safe" space where working moms, whether from the home or the office have the opportunity to have the conversation being fully vulnerable, its ok to be a woman and fulfill your needs, spend a little time on you, conveying the message of my brand mantra where I sign off after every MCM post......... mamas invest in yourself so you can continue to invest others.  Finally this conversation is being brought to the forefront and saluting mamas wherever they may be in their motherhood journey you don't have to "do it all" but a way to manage and get close to that is by doing what you can and not feeling guilty along the way.  Motherhood vs Womanhood, there is no separation between the two, you are always going to be a woman and you will be a mommy for life so you might as well make the best of it!

MamaCare Monday



 As amazing and rewarding it is having children and creating little beings to go and conquer the world, the continued long laundry list of all the things that comes with being a "maker of humans" never ceases to amaze me. Its great what to expect while your expecting however its equally important and can be extremely beneficial "preparing for post".  As television continues to display images of new mothers being overwhelmed with joy and portray the feeling its the most love they have ever experienced with the birth of baby even though that is legitimately the experience for some women, there is also an "under served" or rather not acknowledge percentage of women who don't necessarily feel that way when they give birth and sometimes have struggles in the form of Baby Blues and Postpartum depression ( I wrote an earlier post on the difference btwn BB and PPD, check it out here to learn more: https://themodelmommy.blogspot.com/2016/06/momma-care-mondays-baby-blues-vs-ppd.html) and just getting settled into a"new Mommie groove period.  Not to mention the long list again of all the physical changes that arises during the postnatal stage that no one really talks about, hemorrhoids being one of them and a weakened pelvic floor another.


The pelvic floor is the group of muscles that runs between your pubic bone at the bottom of your spine. This sling-like set of muscles controls and hold your bladder, urethra and vagina in place. Older women, overweight women and those who have had natural childbirth can find these muscles weaken substantially over time. A weak pelvic floor can lead to incontinence and loss of sensitivity during sex. Performing certain exercises, sometimes known as Kegels, can rehabilitate these muscles, stopping incontinence and other problems.-WikiHow
Given what we know about the pelvic floor and its function, its great to know there are postpartum or what I like to call "after care" products out there in the market to assist and help moms where ever they are in the continued journey of mother and womenhood. One of the newest and latest innovations to the market is a "maternal techie" brand called Elvie which created a physical and digital "Kegal Tracker" to keep you on point, tight and right after giving birth helping women restore their floor, discovering your true inner strength with a very up and close "personal" trainer





 Elvie was originally founded in UK by CEO/co-founder Tania Boler who has always been an advocate and passionate about women's issues and causes, so when she partnered up with co-founder and chair Alexander Asseily, another successful entrepreneur with a prior brand Jawbone, it was a no brainer and they created and launched an amazing wearable tech product to the market. 

Remember mamas you must invest in yourselves so you can continue to invest in others......with that said check out my video below of me opening the product, testing it out, and doing an overall product review and if you are interested in purchasing this product for yourself or a special woman in your life that you know (Mothers Day is around the corner.......), make sure you either subscribe to my blog or website to get our specialized 20% off coupon code coming very soon, stay tuned!